I hope mine doesn't look like that
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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