I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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