i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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