Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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