Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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