Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize