...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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