theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
