If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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