weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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