he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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