Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
