why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
