why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
