we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
