I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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