So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
