I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
