he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
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Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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