So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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