He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
