So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
