Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
smell my finger.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
