I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
