school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
