Duck Duck Cougar?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
