I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
