Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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