Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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