what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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