Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
