i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
