I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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