I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
