I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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