Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
