At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
