what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
