I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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