He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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