it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She needs sedatives and a leash
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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