She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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