birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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