everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
