I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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