Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
only if we run a train.
done.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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