The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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