fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
