i wish starbucks made bloody marys
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
