In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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