You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
