I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
