My girlfriend figured out who you are.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The beer is more important than you right now.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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