my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
