just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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