i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
