We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
