its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
