it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
