Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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