Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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