do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!