You work out of a Hotel?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
