If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
