; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
