A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize