well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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